There's bad news...and then there's really bad news.

Brian and I watch a lot of home improvement shows, and we always cringe when we see some unsuspecting homeowner look right at the camera and say, nonchalantly, "Anyone can do drywall, right? It's just like putting together a puzzle...but with tape!"

Lucy's new haircut is the result of exactly that kind of hubris and misplaced confidence. "She's totally small and it's just a tiny bit of hair, what could go wrong??"

Exhibit 1: Even though I started while she was asleep, thinking to myself (with glee)..."I'm SO SMART! All these stupid people who say this is hard probably just never thought of THIS BRILLIANT IDEA!" And then, halfway through the first snip, Lucy sighed like the sweet little angel she is, opened her eyes, looked right at me, and flipped onto her stomach - FACE DOWN. So, I flipped her over. And she flipped back. I gave up halfway through the first lock and decided to try again in the morning...and you can see below the results of my efforts. YES, THIS IS THE "AFTER" PHOTO. QUIT LAUGHING!


Exhibit 2: Lucy seems to be looking at the huge crooked mess I've made and thinking "Maybe you should have stuck to drywall and toy-stealing, Mom."

Exhibit 3: BWAHAHAHAHAHA...who is that kid in the mirror with the TOTALLY MESSED UP BANGS? Oh wait....

Exhibit 4: Lucy will be filing a complaint with the Better Elmo Business Bureau. I'll be expecting a call and more than likely, an onsite visit to view my work and issue citations.

Exhibit 5: "....and then Elmo, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, she came INTO MY ROOM, while I was SLEEPING, and just started hacking away. No WATER. No COMB. Improper technique all around, and she tried to fix it, but honestly...LOOK. AT. MY. HAIR. Good thing for her I'm cute enough to pull this off...right Elmo? Call me, we'll do sippy cups and animal crackers..."