Lucy will relocate your penguin.

You may be wondering why there is a penguin in our front yard. Needless to say, we initially thought that maybe he had a little too much to drink and just decided to "take a nap"...because, well, who hasn't been there? But, then we discovered that Mr. Penguin, as we've come to know him, has a little helper, and her name is Lucy Jane.
Here is Lucy fleeing the scene of the crime. She looks so sweet and innocent, but we know the truth.

CAUGHT RED-HANDED! Next stop: America's Most Wanted - Toddler Edition.


Placement of Mr. Penguin is one of the most important considerations. He should be in just the right place to both a) potentially hurt the maximum number of both Mommy and Daddy, and b) be aesthetically pleasing to Lucy. This is a complex algorithm that only Lucy can perform...a stroke of genius fueled by blueberries and furious sucking on the Thinkie (tm).
Uh oh- maybe Mr. Penguin should go here? Wait, here? Over here? I KNOW! Where will Mommy most likely trip over it and break her leg?


Wait, I'm invisible right now, right?

This is where Mr. Penguin usually lives...under the red bamboo in front of the front door. I hate the red bamboo sooooooo much, so I can see why he hates it there. It's like the witness protection program for garden gnomes and Lucy is the US Marshal. Relocation complete! Well, I just hope he agrees to testify against the red bamboo...life in the compost bin, WITHOUT PAROLE.