Lucy wishes I had stayed in San Francisco.

This weekend I went to visit my good friend Rebecca in San Francisco. We had a grand time shopping, eating, seeing a chick flick and talking about all things baby. When I got home today I was pleased to see that Brian had taken fabulous care of Lucy...they had so much fun together. But, Brian needed a break so I decided to take Lucy out for a walk and she promptly fell directly onto the asphalt, head first. 10 minutes after arriving home, Lucy had a forehead lump the size of an egg. Go Team Mommy! You can see the results of my awesome childcare skills below:

Finley looks worried...

And probably for good reason. Poor Finley...he's just the nicest little boy...I don't think he has any idea what to do with Lucy The Destroyer. That being said, Finley's dad, who has a MUCH nicer camera than me, was nice enough to provide these very cute pictures of Lucy and Finley's hot weather playdate.

Lucy has a balloon.

Lucy wants to take out your garbage.

Try to ignore the huge mess in our house, and focus instead on Lucy's awesome new toy...the diaper pail. Nothing says "fun" like a plastic receptacle full of, quite possibly, the most disgusting contents a human being could ever conceive of and enough germs to keep Lysol busy for the next century. I think the big deal is that if you move the handle up and down, as if you're depositing a diaper, it makes a very satisfying ker-plunking noise.

If you try to take the diaper pail away (WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?), Lucy very stealthily (see below) grabs the handle and just moves it into the other room. Like, THEY'LL NEVER FIND ME IN HERE!

Also, I don't have a picture of it yet, because it's so terrifying, but if the gate into the kitchen (and the kitchen stairs) is left anything less than deadbolted like a New York City apartment, Lucy will look right at you, run through the gate, swing it closed behind her and then run for the stairs. She fully intends to (a) disable her pursuers, and (b) plunge down the stairs headfirst, presumably just to see what happens...because pain is fun! It's starting to seem like a Road Runner cartoon around here. BEEP BEEP!

Lucy is having technical difficulties...

Brian and I took Lucy to a festival this weekend geared towards kids...bands, booths with toys and games, and various other kid-related activities. Unfortunately, it was approximately 12,000 degrees at the venue, so we left early. But, not before I set my camera down somewhere and, just...left it there.

There is good news though. First, someone found my camera and I'm getting it back tomorrow! Second, instead of sweltering through a day of insipid kid music and screaming, sticky, sweaty kids running around in the hot, hot sun while their beleaguered parents wilted in defeat - we left early and headed back to our house, where Lucy and Finley had a great time playing in the kiddie pool. Finley's dad was nice enough to take pictures in the absence of my camera, so we have those to look forward to (don't you love having something to look forward to?). And, third, I have TONS of pictures I've never put up, so here are some pics of Lucy destroying things, climbing on things, and teaching her friend Wyatt the Way of the Destroyer.

PS: I just cannot apologize enough for the haircut.

There's bad news...and then there's really bad news.

Brian and I watch a lot of home improvement shows, and we always cringe when we see some unsuspecting homeowner look right at the camera and say, nonchalantly, "Anyone can do drywall, right? It's just like putting together a puzzle...but with tape!"

Lucy's new haircut is the result of exactly that kind of hubris and misplaced confidence. "She's totally small and it's just a tiny bit of hair, what could go wrong??"

Exhibit 1: Even though I started while she was asleep, thinking to myself (with glee)..."I'm SO SMART! All these stupid people who say this is hard probably just never thought of THIS BRILLIANT IDEA!" And then, halfway through the first snip, Lucy sighed like the sweet little angel she is, opened her eyes, looked right at me, and flipped onto her stomach - FACE DOWN. So, I flipped her over. And she flipped back. I gave up halfway through the first lock and decided to try again in the morning...and you can see below the results of my efforts. YES, THIS IS THE "AFTER" PHOTO. QUIT LAUGHING!


Exhibit 2: Lucy seems to be looking at the huge crooked mess I've made and thinking "Maybe you should have stuck to drywall and toy-stealing, Mom."

Exhibit 3: BWAHAHAHAHAHA...who is that kid in the mirror with the TOTALLY MESSED UP BANGS? Oh wait....

Exhibit 4: Lucy will be filing a complaint with the Better Elmo Business Bureau. I'll be expecting a call and more than likely, an onsite visit to view my work and issue citations.

Exhibit 5: "....and then Elmo, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, she came INTO MY ROOM, while I was SLEEPING, and just started hacking away. No WATER. No COMB. Improper technique all around, and she tried to fix it, but honestly...LOOK. AT. MY. HAIR. Good thing for her I'm cute enough to pull this off...right Elmo? Call me, we'll do sippy cups and animal crackers..."

Lucy has places to go and things to do.

Lucy has been very busy lately and we have, of course, been taking a ton of pictures. Brian has informed me that my last post was...lacking. I blame Lucy since she clearly wasn't cooperating with the "Cake Smash" theme I had in mind for her birthday.

Over the past couple of months we've really noticed a change in Lucy...and that change is...mobility. It's not just walking, it's her entire personality. Walking enables her to get into the bathroom to drink from the toilet, to plunge down the basement stairs headfirst, to eat even more of Daddy's shoes, and to pick up things Mommy and Daddy have carelessly left laying around just to prove to us that our babyproofing efforts are totally Lame and In Vain (tm).

In this picture, Lucy and Brian are posing in front of a car at the Classic Car Show we went to when we were visiting my parents in Oregon. Or, at least, Brian is posing. Lucy is trying to escape in the most wiggly way possible. Points to Brian though for smiling through the pain.s


Here's Brian, Lucy and my Dad. You'll recognize the Colonel by the super-fashionable Diet Coke t-shirt he's wearing. He's a True Believer in the power of Diet Coke, and Lucy appears to be fascinated by the whole spectacle. Also, please note: the baseball cap also says Diet Coke...no one can say The Dietz's aren't committed to the Diet Coke cause.

In her numerous explorations of Grandma and Grandpa's house, Lucy found this very stylish fleece vest and wore it around the house as a kind of Baby Snuggie. Please notice the suspicious look (try not to STEAL THIS Mommy...like usual...). Also, please notice the piece of furniture behind Lucy, which contains but TWO of the approximately ELEVENTY BILLION knobs, pulls, and handles in Grandma and Grandpa's Wonderland of Drawers Full of Dangerous Things.


Again with the Diet Coke. I especially like the look on her face, which seems to say "Can we get a nipple on this bottle...pronto!?"


I don't remember why were taking pictures of Lucy at this exact minute - probably just because she's so ridiculously cute. It especially helps that Brian says twelve times a day "BOY! Lucy sure could use a HAIRCUT!" I'm starting to think he planted this picture just to mess with me.

Lucy is indifferent to our efforts.

Lucy had a birthday party this past weekend. While she was excited to see her friends and family, she couldn't really be bothered with cakes and presents. After everyone left, Lucy got very excited about all her gifts and walked around the house carting each successive gift behind her like Linus' trusty blanket. Overall, an overwhelmingly fun day punctuated with shiny paper and Cake That Shall Not Be Touched.

It's Lucy's birthday, and she'll cry and cry and cry if she wants to.

Lucy went to my parents' house this weekend for her birthday - and boy did she have fun! Just kidding, actually she cried through pretty much every fun activity we had planned.

First, since it was nearly 100 degrees, we thought it might be fun to run through the sprinkler. Lucy has filed an official complaint with the International Criminal Court for our unlawful use of Baby Waterboarding and various violations of the Geneva Conventions.






After the torture session, we let her take a break at one of her favorite pastimes - eating rocks. For a creature that does not, to our knowledge, have a gizzard- Lucy has a real fascination with licking, tasting, and eating rocks. On the downside - rocks in your guts. On the upside - no sprinklers.



After the super well-received trip through the sprinkler - we thought it would be fun to take Lucy to Dairy Queen for a birthday ice cream extravaganza. I love ice cream. Brian loves ice cream. What could go wrong?

Here, Lucy seems to be foreshadowing what's to come. Don't come any closer with that Blizzard, or I'll spoon myself!


YOU WERE WARNED!!!!
After a very long day of being FORCED to participate in activities that were, very clearly, not only un-fun but also a violation of her baby civil rights, Lucy was happy to relax with a bottle before bed (doesn't Mommy wish she'd had one too!). Thankfully, Grandma and Grandpa have a dog, and the dog has a bed, and now Lucy knows there's a heaven. A heaven full of rocks and dog hair, but hey...at least she's (finally) happy.